Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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