Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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