TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
