i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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