It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Ketchup is God's man juice
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize