i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Let's get the cat blown out
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
