He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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