I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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