1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
