she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
