Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
