Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
