I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize