stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
