We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He better not be in your backpack
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
