Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If that was your dad, he is hot
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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