Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I intend to get homeless drunk
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
