i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
