Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize