i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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