It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
