I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
