So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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