She's JV to your varsity
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
