we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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