Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
