That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
