4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
