You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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