I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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