You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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