obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
