Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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