JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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