New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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