My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
