Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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