oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
