meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
