Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
