with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
