your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
