ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
