I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
