Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
