Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
