So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
