Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
