Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
