I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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