Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
