Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
