oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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