Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she told me i tasted like america
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
