She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
