'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
