I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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