You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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