just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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