accomplished twins. life is a go
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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